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* ice being stirred in a cup * >> ashley: ah. whiskey! hey, everyone. welcome to the super exciting, long awaited, and ultra comprehensive asexuality and aromanticism video trilogy! ahhh! [ theme music ] this is part of a greater series on my channel called the "abcs of lgbt." insert clips here. * beep * (off camera) for the abcs of lgbt, if you will.
biological sex, gender expression, cisgender. between the hetero and homo ends of the orientation spectrum. genderfluid, agender, neutrois. * beep * and the mission of this massive thirteen person collaboration with every individual falling somewhere on the ace spectrum is to break down just some of the fundamental and introductory terms and identities belonging to the ace community. of course most of these concepts are incredibly complex, nuanced, and subjective. so there is certainly a chance my guests or i make some mistakes while educating.
if this is the case, i urge you to send an hd video of your feedback to collabwithashley@gmail.com. and i will do my best to spotlight some critiques and rectify mess-ups in a future video on this channel. that being said, onto the super clickable and super comprehensive ace and aro video terms master menu! in this first episode, we'll cover asexuality and aromanticism on a spectrum. explaining terms such as: asexual, ace the umbrella term, aromantic or aro, zedsexual/romantic, allosexual/romantic, demisexual/romantic, gray asexual, gray a, grace, gray ace, ace or aro flux, quoisexual/romantic aka wtfsexual/romantic, akoisexual/romantic aka lithsexual/romantic, and cupiosexual. in the second episode, we'll cover types of attraction like: sexual, romantic, platonic, sensual, aesthetic, and alterous attraction.
in that video, we'll also go over some sex attitudes like: sex or romance indifferent, averse, repulsed, and favorable. and we'll cover the difference between sex negative or antisexual people, asexual people, and celebate people. as well as the ideology of sex positivity. whew. and in the third and final video of the ace and aro trilogy, we'll cover some ace and aro relationship terms like: q*eerplatonic relationships or qprs, zucchini, squish. as well as some asexual slang like: aces of hearts, spades, clubs or diamonds, asexy, no romo,
and additionally concepts like: sex drive or libido, stone, paper, and paper mache. and some harder topics like: what are some ace and aro misconceptions that permeate our society? what's the a in lbgtqia+? are ace and aro people really part of the q*eer community? what's ace and aro adversity like? what's amatonormativity and what are people's experiences with it? and finally, we'll cover some examples of asexual community, culture, and aven. woah! a lot of info, right? now this trilogy is meant to be watched wholly and in order. it'll make the most sense that way.
however, if you simply can't help yourself, every word on the screen is a clickable annotation which will take you to the time signature where that term is discussed. and if you're on mobile, there is a time signature table of contents in the description below. you're welcome. so without further ado, let's get started learning about the wonderful ace and aro community. so the first thing on should understand about asexuality and aromanticism is like any orientation, it exists on a spectrum. with people on one end lacking sexual or romantic attraction and people on the other end experiencing sexual or romantic attractions.
so let's take a more thorough look at this end and define asexuality. >> brian (off camera): asexuality is a sexual orientation and it generally describes a lack of sexual attraction and sometimes a lack of sexual desire. as such, an asexual person would be someone who doesn't experience sexual atttraction toward others, regardless of their gender. >> ashley: got it! thanks, brian. now i've heard people use the word ace as an umbrella term. what exactly does ace encompass? >> brian (off camera): now, sexuality is a spectrum and individuals who identify toward the asexual end of that spectrum would be ace.
ace used to just be a phonetical shortening of the word asexual. but it has since changed to become more of an umbrella term that encompasses everyone on the asexual spectrum. this includes asexual individuals, demisexual, graysexual, etc. >> ashley: and as many of us know, people's sexual orientation can be different than their romantic orientation. so adam, what does it mean to be aromantic? >> adam (off camera): aromantics, or aro for short, don't really experience romantic attraction. they can still easily have plantonic love for people. it just won't be so "lovey dovey."
>> ashley: great! now let's take a look at the other end of the spectrum. allosexual and zedsexual are both words to describe people who are not ace, people who do experience sexual attraction. some people prefer to use the prefix allo and some people prefer zed. here's brian from asexual outreach to delve more deeply into these terms and explain which of the two he utilizes. >> brian: there are a number of terms used to describe individuals who don't fall on the asexual spectrum. allosexual is probably the most popular and common of these terms, but it has a few issues. semantically and sexologically speaking, it doesn't actually contrast asexuality
so much as it contrasts autosexuality, which is completely different from asexuality. the word allosexual actively upholds clinical sexology finding its root in clinical sexology and often seeking legitimacy through the clinical sexological framework. unfortunately, clinical sexology has a very destructive, very oppressive past and so it's probably not something that we want to tie our terminology to. there are a number of alternatives to the word allosexual. one that stands out is zedsexual or z sexual if you want to use an american pronunciation. this term was coined to describe asexuality and zedsexuality as two ends of the spectrum from a to zed. >> ashley: interesting! now what about people who fall in the middle of the spectrum?
are there identity terms for them? >> berry (off camera): demisexual or demiromantic is when you don't feel sexual or romantic attraction until a close bond has been formed. so if you were demiromantic, you might be sexually attracted to someone but you aren't romantically attracted to them until you have, uh, an emotional bond together. however, for demisexual, you might have romantic attraction towards the person, but you won't have sexual attraction until you are both very close to each other. >> ashley: fun fact. i actually used to think i was demisexual but i was accidentally conflating and mixing up my sexual and romantic attractions.
as many people do. but it turns out i am demiromantic. i've only ever felt romantic love for two people and both times it took us establishing a deep, emotional bond before that happened. conversely, i don't have to know you at all to think you're cute like in a "i wanna put my face on your face" way. like in a sexy way. any other words for people in the middle of the spectrum? >> christi (off camera): grayasexuality, which is also known as graysexuality, gray ace, gray (a), and grace is a sexuality that falls under the asexual umbrella.
people who are graysexual typically experience sexual attraction rarely or only under certain conditions or they're just not sure whether or not they experience sexual attraction. many gray ace people consider it an umbrella term itself that includes other sexualities such as demisexuality. i personally identify under the gray ace umbrella because i am demisexual. i have only been sexually attracted to 3 people. some gray ace people choose to identify with a gender specific orientation because they do experience occasional sexual attraction. for example, someone could identify with both graysexual and bisexual. sometimes in these situations, people will choose to create compound orientations
and they'll say they are bi graysexual or gray bisexual. the romantic counterpart to grayasexuality would be gray aromanticism which falls on the aromantic spectrum. someone who's grayromantic would likely experience romantic attraction rarely or only under certain circumstances or they're just not sure if they experience romantic attraction or not. >> ashley: and what about people who aren't fixed on the spectrum who bop around between places? >> christi: another sexuality that falls under the graysexual umbrella is ace flux. there are two definitions most commonly associated with ace flux. the first is that an ace flux person has a fluctuating sexual orientation,
but it always stays within the asexual spectrum. for example, sometimes they could be demisexual, sometimes they could be asexual, etc. the other main definition is that their orientation fluctuates between experiencing lots of sexual attraction, some, and none. aro flux is the counterpart to ace flux and it is on the grayromantic spectrum. an aro flux person would likely either fluctuate within the aromantic spectrum or fluctuate between experiencing lots of romantic attraction, some, and none. >> ashley: and what if a person just isn't sure? they think they might be ace, but don't totally know. >> kai (off camera): quoisexual or quoiromantic and wtfsexual or wtfromantic are identity words
for when you can't tell the difference between attractions that you might be experiencing or if you're just really confused about what attraction you are feeling. so, if someone is quoisexual, they may not be able to tell the difference between sexual and romantic attraction. or if someone, like me, is wtfromantic, they might not be able to tell the difference between romantic and platonic attraction. i've always been completely asexual, so confusion about sexual attraction really wasn't an issue for me because i just didn't experience it. but, romantic attraction was very confusing because i'm wtfromantic and i really can't tell the difference between platonic and romantic attraction
except for, like, tiny little clues that i really have to search for and it confused me for a really long time. >> vesper: wtf/quoisexual and wtf/quoiromantic can also have a much broader meaning so i'm going to try and use an analogy to explain this to you, so bear with me. imagine there's a questionnaire and one of the questions on it is "are you religious?" a person who isn't religious will probably answer "no." a person who doesn't find that question relevant to them or a person who doesn't understand what even constitutes as "religious" or a person who can't answer that question with a simple "yes" or "no" because it's too complicated or a person who just doesn't want to answer that question for whatever reason
might choose "n/a" or not applicable to skip the question entirely. responding to a question with "no" is not the same thing as responding with "n/a" or not applicable. and when it comes to romantic and sexual identities, aromantic and asexual are often the equivalent of saying "no" to the question "do you experience romantic or sexual attraction?" whereas, wtf or quoi is often the equivalent of saying "n/a" or not applicable. regardless of the topic or the question, there are numerous reasons why a person might choose not applicable or "n/a." especially when the topic is as complex as religion or the ways in which you experience attraction to someone.
not being able to differentiate between different types of attraction is one of many reasons why someone might identify as wtf/quoiromantic or sexual. >> ashley: cool! are there any other terms for orientations on this spectrum? >> jeff (off camera): akoisexual aka lithsexual is experiencing sexual attraction without desiring the reciprication of that attraction. likewise, akoiromantic or lithromantic is experiencing romantic attraction without caring or wanting the reciprication of that attraction. and in some cases, these attractions may actually fade if they are reciprocated. i've seen discussion from the ace and aro communities surrounding
whether or not lith should be the prefix for this orientation. this is because the creators of the word lithsexual (and subsequentially lithromantic) decided to use lith because it is the greek root for the word stone. this is related to stone butch sexuality where a stone is someone who likes providing sexual stimulation to another person, but does not want the sexual stimulation on themselves. because more often than not stone butch sexuality is related to the lesbian community, some people felt that this wasn't really an all inclusive term. and thus, the words akoiromantic and akoisexual came to be!
>> ashley: thanks, jeff! adam, do you have another identifying word we should know about? >> adam (off camera): a cupiosexual is someone that doesn't have a sexual attraction, but still desires a sexual relationship. and a cupioromantic is the same thing except switch the spectrum from sexual to romantic. >> ashley: awesome. that about wraps it up for episode 1. stay tuned for more ace and aro terms next week! and be sure to check out all the cuties involved in this project! their links are in the description and a ton of them posted ace and aro content on their channels today. so if you want to have an ace and aro content party on youtube, you should click them. find more.
okay, bye! * pop noise * [ closing theme music ]